The Best "Out-Of-Office" Replies one Can Set

Got this mail from one of my Humor Newsgroups.

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies one can set :

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. I've run away to join a different circus.